Today was my “first day of school” working as a teachers’ aide at Concordia Lutheran School here in Peoria. For those that are familiar with Lutheran schools, Concordia is unique in that it’s sponsored by three churches – one of them being our home church, Trinity. It also has its own (totally separate) campus in Peoria. For those not familiar with Lutheran schools, most schools are K-8. Education is one of the many things that Lutherans do well, and after just one day at Concordia I can see that it’s yet another example of that excellence!
For now I will still be working at Chick-fil-A. If and when my time there ends it will be a hard decision for me; I absolutely love it! God has made it clear that my time there is not yet done, and He continues to prove Himself faithful by answering prayers and making a way for the logistics of these two part time jobs possible.
My journey to Concordia started off slowly. I saw the job posting and knew they had the need. However, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that it wasn’t time yet to leave Chick-fil-A. It all began before I knew I was having shoulder surgery, though by the time I finally reached out with my first email I knew the surgery was happening. After that things happened fairly quickly – I interviewed three days before surgery and got offered the job about two weeks afterwards. With everything else going on, I haven’t had a chance to share with too many people yet about this incredible opportunity that the Lord has dropped in my lap!
Those of you who’ve known me a while probably know the struggle that college and finding a career has been for me. I’ve attempted many times and have struggled every single time… much to my disappointment, heartache, and even grief. You guys probably also know that I love kids and that I love teaching, and those things about me have remained true through thick and thin over the last 10+ years!!! I don’t know exactly what God has in store for me by way of this job, but when I first expressed interest in the job it was also with the intention of getting my feet wet and seeing if becoming a teacher is a direction that God might be calling me. Seeing as how it’s been a busy several months for us, a decision to once again attempt college – this time with a different format/style of classes, which is another answer to prayer – will not be made quickly or taken lightly. However, after just one day back in the classroom, a day that was also my first day ever in a Lutheran school classroom, I may or may not have found a new calling. I have no idea what exactly that might look like (there are lots of things to do besides being an actual teacher!), and I have no idea what timing God might have in mind for all of this. What I do know, though, is that we serve a faithful God – one who is not only good and faithful to give us all that we need… but one who is also faithful to, when we delight ourselves in Him, give us the desires of our heart.
And, well… a way to serve the Lord that combines both classroom education and ministry in a very real and tangible way? I’ve been told about that reality by many called Lutheran teachers over the years, but seeing a beautiful example of it today blew whatever expectations I had out of the water. To say that ending up in that place would be a dream come true and a beautiful and healing homecoming for me would be a vast understatement! That all being said, the idea of what God might be up to with this over the next several years is one of the few things that as of late that has left this writer speechless.
As Nicholas and I continue in this journey, we would appreciate your prayers. Discerning whether or not the pursuit of this as God’s best for me (and for us!) is no small thing, and it’s not something we want to rush. We ask for your prayers for both discernment as well as a continued passion to keep serving well where God still has me at Chick-fil-A. That job and the family I have there is a miracle in its own right, and I’m so excited to get back to work there in a few weeks!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. So many of you have supported and encouraged me with your prayers in an incredible way – whether we’ve known each other for a few months or you’ve been in my life for many, many years!!! I wouldn’t be here without you all, and I’m so grateful to be able to share what God is up to in all of this.
Nicholas and I will continue to keep you posted as much as we can, though it may be several months before other decisions are made and finalized regarding any next steps. In the meantime I’ll focus on recovering from shoulder surgery, continuing the long term healing work God is walking me through right now, serving well in both of the roles God has for me right now… and counting down the days until our first anniversary! Looking back I know we’re going to have an epic story about our first year of marriage, but man… it’s been a lot. We’re exhausted.
God is good, and He is good all the time. He’s been good even through the dark days and weeks I’ve had since surgery, not to mention all of the years it took for Him and me to get on the same page about me being alive and the reality that He’s not done with me yet… He is good as He carries my husband and I through trial after curveball after trial right now… He’s still good as He opens up some new doors and windows that I didn’t see coming… and He will always be good, regardless of exactly how it all plays out.
God is also a God of healing. And even when we still don’t know entirely how it’s going to look, when we least expect it He chooses to revisit a door that’s been painfully closed by opening a window that you never knew was there. We can still grieve the hurt and the pain of the years spent behind that slammed door while also giving thanks for the newly opened window. After all, God sometimes opens the window because He knows it’s exactly the healing that we need. And just when we think we have it all figured out, He swoops in and catches us off guard – because whether or not it’s what we think we want, He knows what’s best for us and for His glory.
Thank you, Lord, for the reality of that truth, even on the days when we don’t get it. Sustain us through those days until we’re able to once again see some light, have some hope, and see a glimpse of Your glory through the plans and purposes you have for us.
And may we remember to turn to You through the pain and darkness of all of the in-betweens.
– – – – – – –
How long will I have to hear the stories
Of how you were able
How long will I have to celebrate
The miracle that’s not my own
How long will I lift my voice and sing again
That you are always good
When I’m feeling all this distance
I thought I never would
How long
As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I’m still not alone
And at the end of the day
I’ll stand right here and say
I know that you love me miracle or not
How long will I give myself
Before I give up waiting
How long will I have to hide behind this smile
That says that I’m okay
How long will I hold on to the promises
I thought I heard you speak
When every passing day
Just leaves me broken down and weak
As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I’m still not alone
And at the end of the day
I’ll stand right here and say
I know that you love me miracle or not
I will sing it ’til my broken heart believes it
I’ll declare it ’til I smell the smoke of faith
And with my hands held high
I’ll scream it to the darkness
‘Til hope is finally louder than the ache
As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I’m still not alone
And at the end of the day
I’ll stand right here and say
I know that you love me
I know that you love me
I know that you love me miracle or not
Miracle or not